Desire

Almost didn't buy this manga. The reviews on Amazon were lackluster, at best, and I wasn't familiar enough with DMP to know what it might be like. Bought it anyway, cuz I'm yaoi FREAK, and was incredibly glad I did.

Also wasn't going to write this review, since I saw it had been reviewed here already, but... my reaction to it was so different from the previous reviewers' that my 2 cents suddenly seemed worth that much more.

Desire is an angsty manga. Tears threatened to burst forth from almost the 1st page. But it's not an angst that stems from abuse or violence -- it's Real Life. Sure, Real Life doesn't usually make itself known in yaoi manga. They're usually the things farthest from Real Life. And usually that's a good thing since we all know Real Life sucks, more often than not. But... when angst is well done, when it grows out of something real and deep, and (more importantly) when things end well, angst is... something to be enjoyed.

This manga stirs emotions. It's not just sex and normal seme/uke issues. It's not about the two main characters finally getting physical, since that happens quite early on. It's about relationships. It's about learning about yourself, coming to terms with yourself, growing. The angst stems from the reality of being in love with your best friend, and having him physically, but not emotionally, attracted to you. The characters are real. You believe in what they say and what they do. There's never a moment when you wonder 'what the heck???'. Toru is sweet and quiet and he thinks, something which happens rarely in manga (come on, you know it's true). His unrequited and heartbreaking love for Ryoji comes through in his facial expressions, in his thoughts, in his reactions. The tone of the manga is based around heartbreak -- more lighthearted moments would have... debased it, brought it down. You never, after all, forget that these boys are friends -- that they enjoy being together and enjoy each other (even out of bed). The awkwardness and sadness that develops as a result of this situation is inevitable and touching. The sex is more about feelings than pleasure, though pleasure is a part of it -- also something that is very unusual for yaoi manga.

Re-reading this manga for the second time for the purposes of this review, I fell in love with it even more. It's the kind of manga that brings an irrepressible smile to my face by its end, even while the tears are still in my eyes.